Team Tips - 24 {Protocol Check - What do you think?}

Friday Brag (borrowed from my sweetheart Vickie)(steal from the best):

Highest number ever of page views of my blog of my last post “Team Tips - 23”. Yay!

You can now say: “You did that?”, and I can reply: “I did that!”

I also received some complimentary comments, and an offer of a reply to my Ask for Help. “All good” as they say locally.

I'm also receiving the highest volume of email spam, which probably means the evil bots are mining their way from the blog to my website and my supposedly “un-bot-able” email address. The offers of deposited funds, court action, lewd (I'm assuming) photos, follow-ups to fictitious requests for business proposals, fake billing, etc. are actually quite creative. One even claims that I've been caught speeding on a traffic camera - as if they existed here. If the spelling and grammar weren't so atrocious one could be tempted to pay attention to them. And if they didn't have the huge red warning flag of the attached zip file.

Following the line of the last post, it would be nice to scream “Protocol Check” at them.

But that isn't at all the point of Protocol Check.

While it would occasionally feel really good, and satisfying, and therapeutic to yell at someone who gets a Protocol wrong, or breaks a Commitment, that's not what Protocol Check is for. It's really a learning tool.

If I bury an Ask for Help inside a Perfection Game, or Check In angry about someone's behaviour without asking their intention, or just generally get the Protocol steps wrong, that's a great opportunity to gently, quietly, compassionately have a conversation with me about the Protocols in a spirit of shared learning.

It might go:

• Paul, Protocol Check.
• Oh? 
• I'm wondering what your intention was in that Perfection Game.
• Err .... I think I was looking for some information.
• OK; let's both look at the Core Protocols and see what it says about the Perfection Game. Were you really trying to Ask for Help?
• Hmmmm. Let's have a look. Maybe there is a better way than what I did.

In this kind of interaction both parties, adhering to the Commitments, are interested in discovering how the Protocols in question work, and the best way to use them.

For me, it is important that both parties are open to learning and teaching simultaneously. Alternatively, the risk is that one party becomes the “Protocol God” and rains fire and brimstone down on the transgressor.

Even when, as occurred in one of our BootCamps, a participant had the Protocols virtually memorized, and became Mr. Protocol Check. Happily, it all became fun: we had a Protocol Check dance, and phone ring tone imitating his specially exaggerated Protocol Check voice. But he followed “Rule Number 6” (Art of Possibility, Zander & Zander) and it was hilarious learning for all of us.

So while no one objected to my licence in writing about “screaming Protocol Check” last time, that's not how it is done.

Nevertheless, the ring tone may still be available.

Team Tips – 20 {I'm being reincarnated as a what!?}

OK; I have a confession to make.

Last blog I said I had no evidence of anyone reading my posts. That was a bit of poetic licence to make the point that I have not been overwhelmed with responses or comments.

Google Analytics really does know I exist - I use their blogging tools. And they do report pulses of readership when I actually post something. I also have a very small cadre of blog followers. My last article even received several comments and some Google “pluses”.

So there are a handful out there who make the time to read through my stuff. There've been no arguments, no debates, no requests for other topics, but I'm not complaining. Well, maybe just a little.

But when the evidence of readership knocked on the door of my conscience, my virtue alarm went off.

“Brrrraaaaaap! Excuse me, sir, but you said you had no evidence when there is evidence. That is in direct violation of your Integrity virtue. Your penalty is 100 demerit points and no use of the virtue halo for a week.”

If, at this point, you think I should change brands of coffee because clearly something weird has affected my brain, please let me explain.

After the Ask for Help protocol mentioned in my last post, Personal Alignment is for me the next most powerful tool in the Core Protocols for personal growth and improvement. The essence of Personal Alignment is first to know what you want out of life - not just stuff - but your legacy, your contribution, your karmic achievement to avoid reincarnation as a dung beetle. (Just to hedge my bets: no offense to any dung beetles out there; I'm sure you're swell folks.)

And second is to choose a virtue (a handy list of suggestions is provided) which feels like it will help you get to your goal.

Before my experienced friends, or the Core Protocol police, object, I admit that this is how I use Personal Alignment: going for the big existential goal. That is not the critical part. The critical part is choosing a virtue to work on that feels like it will help surmount the obstacles that have prevented you so far in getting you to what you want, whatever it is. Virtues like: Self Awareness, Faith, Hope, Passion, Self-Care, Courage, Wisdom, Peace, Joy, Integrity...

So just pause a moment and chew on that. It's not about working harder, getting up earlier, staying later, cramming more into your life to get what you want. It's about virtue. (Yeah; you're wondering about my brand of coffee again!)

The “work” is putting energy into your chosen virtue, hanging on to it, thinking about it, exercising it, checking it's health.

So in my case the virtue of Integrity is a big deal for me because I've often been in situations where my thinking, my talking, and my acting were not coherent, were not aligned, were not in sync; for example, saying I would do one thing, then actually doing another. My Personal Alignment has been Integrity many times, and at other times while focused on a different virtue, Integrity has still been hanging around, just offstage. That happens after 10+ years of Personal Alignments; the virtue becomes a friend, an ally, a helper. It's like a personal assistant nudging you, reminding you, checking your temperature.

And going “Brrrrraaaaaap” when you slip up.

It's actually very cool. And it's helping me avoid coming back to this earth as a dung beetle.

Software for Your Head 4

Finishing the project team kickoff meeting story from Software for Your Head by Jim & Michele McCarthy.

(from page 8):

Well, hell, if he did all that, you would consider him to be all the way checked in. Hmmm. What’s more, you think maybe, just maybe, that scenario might just do the trick for the whole damn team. Tell you what, you’d bet your bottom dollar that his teammates will at least respond with their fullest, focused attention. That’s just what people do whenever someone reveals himself a bit. If he’s talking and acting with just the least little bit of enlightenment, something new, they’re going to listen up and watch closely. As long as the person says what he says and does what he does with thoughtfulness and truth. But if it is true, you’d predict that the team, just by witnessing a more honest, genuinely new engagement level, will then be much more likely to act on questions of shared vision (which, you remind yourself, is the top-level symptom). At least, you figure, they’ll be more likely to act on things they care about, anyway, and that would be all to the good. Moreover, everybody who watched this thing unfold from just one person will have been really informed, and maybe even inspired, by the difference made by his acceptance of personal accountability for how he has been spending his own life. Really, not only for his own results, but for the results of all.

You half listen to the team struggling to cram everything in the agenda in the last few minutes. Maybe the others would also begin to experiment with the new power they are seeing and feeling (and there is tremendous power in accepting individual responsibility for achieving results together). If your guidance would help one or more of them to engage more deeply, and not to waste any time and never to do anything dumb on purpose, why, you’d have made a huge difference. Hell, the dumb quota can always be met by doing things you thought were smart to begin with. You don’t have to do anything dumb on purpose to meet the quota.

You imagine that a newly awakened team member would see a whole bunch of things, maybe all at once; the problem is not a case of a team without a shared vision, a case of just another stupid project, or another example of bad management or poor leadership. No, when he thinks it all the way through, he’ll see that the trouble is not “too few people,” or “not enough time,” or some other cockamamie story about how the mediocrity was out of his control. The crux of the thing is that he, personally, has been accepting less than he wants, and less than he deserves. What’s more, he has been doing so without making any genuine creative effort to get what he requires to efficiently create what he wants. He’ll see that the problem is his own lack of integrity and his shallow engagement. The problem is rooted somewhere near his deficient caring about his own life. To persist as it has, the problem requires his repression of passion, it mandates that he fail to accept his own wisdom, and it seduces him into daily acts of cowardice that promulgate rather than abolish the general foolishness of which he is such an important part.

But should just this one person truly check in, you think, the whole team will be moved to a better ground. Even if team members backslide, and all do,they won’t forget this vivid instance of accountable behavior and the simple, unambiguous actions that supported it.

One self-respecting person, you reflect, with even a modest degree of personal engagement, is all it takes to start this team on the path toward much greater achievement. No permission is required for the pursuit of greatness, no consensus to improve your own results. All the orgs and re-orgs in the whole damn corporate universe, all the resources consumed and processes proceeding can’t stop one honest person from making sure he spends his time wisely. And that’s all that is needed to get the ball rolling.

Why not believe, you think. Pretend. OK. So from this one moment of surpassing individual and dawning team clarity, this whole group will quicken, will revive. Of course, team members will need some new supportive structures; they’ll require whatever information there is about highly effective connection and collaboration. In particular, they’ll damn well want more moments of clarity, and will be willing to adopt whatever practices create just the right conditions for genuine checking in.

They can’t hold it, probably. And would they spread it around? You have a spike of unease, but then you reassure yourself that the team you are envisioning would of course look for any behavior patterns that would achieve its goals. If there weren’t any, team members would just figure a way to create them. And put them in a book.

But first, one of them must check all the way in. Just one. Who? All this, after one of them has decided that his life, time, and creative output really do matter. But not before.

Interrupting your reverie, your nascent vision, the meeting suddenly stops as people scatter and depart, ceasing to meet rather than finishing their work. Finishing is way different from ceasing, you muse. As you gather yourself, one of the team newbies, together with the team’s most infamous cynic, approach you. You bet they want your take on things. Your help.

So that's the kickoff meeting that we've all been to, and all have wished was better.

What have you done in this situation? Thoughts? Comments?

Difficult Situations / Staying Calm (thanks Michele - again)

Now, you might have guessed already that “business humming” means there aren't difficult situations. Or more precisely very few: human error, mis-communication, divine acts – that sort of thing.

The truly difficult situations I have encountered were generated by bad intent or a lack of honesty.

For example:

In an arrangement where we were to sub-contract to another consulting company to provide our expertise to their client, we were asked, on the spot, to explain their contract to their client. Hopefully, this sounds weird already. What made it worse was that the consulting company hadn't provided us the latest copy of the contract until the last minute, and it was a version that contained material we had asked them to correct.

So here is a deal, with a new, big client, very important to us, that is hanging in the middle of a conference call, when the consulting company suddenly handed off to us to explain a contract that was unexplainable. Based on my prior corporate role models and experience, I would have tried to save everyone's face, and wriggle my way through with some fluffy explanation and fancy footwork.

But because of BootCamp and my alignment of integrity, I just told the truth: “This isn't the correct version of the contract; let's meet again later with the corrected version.”

Did the client hang up believing we were all bozos? They should have, but they didn't. We went on with a business relationship that started in 2005 and is continuing today.

The most difficult situation I have ever faced occurred as a corporate employee when I was dismissed without warning based on a false accusation. That was definitely a Nietzsche experience: “What does not kill me, makes me stronger.”1 During the legal proceedings that followed, I had moments when I literally couldn't breathe. I'll spare you the gory details because the settlement I won after 6 years prohibits me from continuing the story.

But those things have never, and will never happen to me as a business owner and consultant, because the client relationship is built on two way trust. And now the difficult moments are the ones where the client repeatedly thanks us to the point of embarrassment.

As for staying calm and detached, I think that's a myth fostered by my publicist and groupies. I certainly work hard at keeping my head when others around me seem to be loosing theirs, but I also have my moments. I don't know how one can be passionate about their work, finding the best solutions, getting great results, without getting excited. And since Vickie and I arrange to have Work = Play we always make room for fun, laughter, and energy.

We don't do our Monty Python imitations in the boardroom in front of the CEO and the leadership team, unless they take the lead, or we are desperate to make a point.

But calmness is an attribute I developed as a camp leader, pool lifeguard, father of four, sailplane, hang glider, and ultra-light pilot, among other experiences. It's just not helpful to instill the thrill of flying in a passenger while moving through some bumpy air and have the pilot scream, “We're going to die” and attempt to jump out of the plane.

What are the take aways? (And I don't mean fast food for my English friends and relatives.)

• Conduct business based on strongly connected relationships.
• Build those through honesty which leads to trust.
• Don't flip the Bozo Bit on someone based on an isolated incident or single mis-understanding.
• Don't panic. (Thanks Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)
• Make fun and find friendly ways to make your clients laugh.
• Make sure you can deliver the required results – get help or get out.

(And I don't really have a publicist nor groupies – that I am aware of.)

1 Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900), Twilight of the Idols, 1888

Next time: some thoughts on Leadership.